Sorry

My entire existence
has been
one huge
Apology.
It brings me
To
Desolation,
Isolation,
Rumination,
Agonization
over every action
or word.

Is this inherent
to being female?
We apologize
For our weight-
Too much,
Too little
Our face-our self-esteem
Ourselves-our being

I can’t stop now-
I’m sorry for being sorry
For feeling nothing,
I do is right.
My beliefs are
Supported by
My Son
Husband
Ex-friends
Ex-husbands

Feel dirty,
Bad,
Not good enough
I try so hard
To be bland
Beige
To not stirrup
Trouble
But deep, deep inside,
I am angry
Seething
Retribution
Vindication
Validation
Knowledge that
I Am
I Lived

And I was valued

Sent from my iPhone