Sorry

My entire existence
has been
one huge
Apology.
It brings me
To
Desolation,
Isolation,
Rumination,
Agonization
over every action
or word.

Is this inherent
to being female?
We apologize
For our weight-
Too much,
Too little
Our face-our self-esteem
Ourselves-our being

I can’t stop now-
I’m sorry for being sorry
For feeling nothing,
I do is right.
My beliefs are
Supported by
My Son
Husband
Ex-friends
Ex-husbands

Feel dirty,
Bad,
Not good enough
I try so hard
To be bland
Beige
To not stirrup
Trouble
But deep, deep inside,
I am angry
Seething
Retribution
Vindication
Validation
Knowledge that
I Am
I Lived

And I was valued

By Magicgirl523

Help

I’ve practically given up on this site for writing, because I tried so hard three time with my first attempt at blogging by cutting and pasting and it dissolves into thin air. Sigh.  I even had pictures! Which imported well but not my writing so I eventually gave up. Stuffed my mouth full of cookies and went to my ordinal site where I’ve been writing . I use an app called pages and it works really well with almost every site. That is where I start & store my writing.   I tried support. But maybe they couldn’t understand me because I was to busy eating more junk food as my anxiety levels rose. Then I tried the WordPress tutorials, and I felt that I needed to be placed in a ‘ special’ class., because it was really long , in depth, talked about all kinds of things my blonde ADHD brain couldn’t possibly hold together.   I wanted to have a tantrum but I might have ended u in one of ‘those’ places for observation. So does anyone know how to impot something already written. Where do drafts really go? Purgatory?   Thank you,